Proceed Until Apprehended

Commenting on a previous post, Chris asked me about my “mentor network.” Specifically, he asked,”How you selected it and nurtured it and what you seek to get from it and also contribute to it?”

A number of years ago I set up a network of individuals that I wanted to remain connected to even though I wasn’t going to be working with them on a regular basis – a mentor network.

Just a point about mentors – I think your supervisor or boss is sort of an “obligated” mentor. They should be coaching you, developing you and paying attention to your needs. However, they don’t always do this, and if they do, it’s only part of the coaching story. You’ve got to presume their loyalty lies with the organization, not with your personal growth. Sometimes you need some perspective from a different filter. Having a supervisor as a mentor certainly doesn’t hurt, but it’s not the complete package I would feel comfortable with.

With a desire for a diversified network, I identified three individuals that I appreciated and knew I could learn from. They had careers and roles that were pretty close to my definition of success.

I had worked with a couple of these individuals. Another, I had met once through doing informational interviews – I was simply curious about different career options and set up a meeting. I got a good vibe and knew he would be a good mentor for me.

As you’ll see in the letter below, I had some particular skills I wanted to grow, and I identified potential mentors that I felt were “best in the field” at these skills. They didn’t have to be a perfect model of what I wanted to be, they just had to have some strengths that I wanted to learn more about.

I established with my employer that I was starting the program and got approval to take time off of work each month for the meetings. I called each of my desired mentors up and asked if they would consider mentoring me. I didn’t ask them to decide on the spot. I said I’d share a letter that outlined my intentions.  This is what I shared:

Dear XXXX,

Re: Personal Mentoring Program

In the past six years, since I completed university, I’ve attained more from my career than I had ever envisioned. I’m happy with my success, but I’m at my best and most fulfilled when I’m growing. I’d like some help surpassing what I see as a potential plateau. I’d like to regroup, do some planning and some strategizing for the next phase of my life, and I’d like your help.

Let me show you what I mean. I hope to improve, among other things: 

• My ability to balance work and family
• My value in the employee marketplace
• My leadership skills
• My perspective and knowledge of Saskatchewan, Canadian and World industry and politics
• My salesmanship, both within a company and outside of it

This engagement clearly benefits me, providing me with:

• Access to your experience and knowledge
• Your guidance on the practical matters of the day
• Your guidance on the strategic direction of my career
• Clarity on steps I can take to improve my value in the marketplace

But I believe it also benefits you through:

• The personal reward of seeing someone successfully move on a planned career path
• Networking, both through my current and future contacts, increasing your influence and visibility
• Opportunity to share the things you’d wish “someone had told me at your age.”
• Perspective and enthusiasm from an “up and comer”

The minimum commitment I am asking from you would be for a monthly meeting at a time of your choosing. I have arranged for time to be allotted from my work schedule for our meetings, so any time of the day that is suitable for you will be suitable for me.

During this monthly meeting, I envision you sharing your experience and knowledge with me, as I would likely have prepared questions for you. The first meeting would include such questions as:

• What has been your career path?
• Was it through planning?
• Was it by choice?
• What do you credit your success to?
• What are the things that make a career fulfilling for you?
• Has your education been useful?

In subsequent meetings, we could discuss strategies for success, and actions and plans that should be incorporated to achieve career goals.

In addition, each meeting would be followed up with a summary of our conversation, for your records and for review at our next discussion.

The meetings suggested are a proposal. If you are willing to participate in this protégé/mentor relationship, I’d like to work with you to make sure that the meetings are an efficient and effective use of your time.

I believe there are other things that can take place in a mentoring relationship, and perhaps I leave these for discussion: 

• Using my skills or perspective to help you with your business needs
• Increasing my network by introducing me to your network
• Thinking of me when you’ve got a community activity that requires energy, enthusiasm or my skill-set
• Keeping in contact through email and phone conversations

Thanks for your time. The development of this program will benefit me greatly. I hope that it will benefit you, as well. I intend to build a happy family, a successful career and relationships that will last a lifetime, right here in Saskatchewan. I hope that you can help me fulfill that dream.

Please contact me at xxx-xxx to let me know your thoughts on my initiative. If I’m on the right track, perhaps we can arrange a time for our first meeting.

Thanks,

Nevin

Certainly, this isn’t the letter I’d write today. For one, I no longer have the gall to call myself an “up and comer.” I would also try and manage my apparent fascination with bullet points. I cringe a little bit at what I wrote and how it’s written, but I do like some notions I seemed to have at the time.  For one, I didn’t think anyone would say no to somebody saying “I think you’re successful and I want to learn from you.” They didn’t. For another, the idea of having a sustained, direct relationship with these individuals felt like it had long-term potential to create mutually beneficial opportunities. I think that’s come to pass, as I go to work for one of them in two weeks.

The relationships have morphed over the years. They aren’t nearly as formal as they once were. The key to sustaining a mentor relationship? I only have my experience, but this is it: I have in my calendar a regular reminder every six weeks – set up a lunch with your mentor. I don’t ignore it.

The Chinese bamboo tree doesn’t grow upwards until the fifth year after the seed has been planted. For four years, the seed is watered and cared for with seemingly no results.  It’s roots are growing, but you can’t tell. In the fifth growing season, the bamboo grows upwards at an incredible rate, reaching it’s mature height of 80 to 90 feet in just three or four months.

There’s a lot to be said for having a willingness and a commitment to do things even if they don’t show immediate results. Arguably, that’s a definition for leadership – even if the payoff is so far off as to be unimaginable (and perhaps, impossible), you do the right thing.

I like to picture the bamboo farmer patiently, deliberately, even lovingly watering the spot where the bamboo seed is planted. He knows his investment of care and time will be returned, but there’s more to it. A four year commitment without results is about the journey. It’s about the process of watering and caring, not the resulting tree.

My own bamboo shot up this week. I have accepted a job with iQmetrix. They’re beyond progressive, they’re wildly successful and they’re putting me to work right here in Regina. I’m ecstatic to be joining them in a role that suits me to a T, Manager of Employee Development.

I feel like I do many things that won’t ever pay. I blog, I volunteer for my kid’s school and I tell my bosses things they don’t want to hear. Except these things did pay. They paid when I did them (because it felt like the right thing) and now they’ve paid with a career-changing opportunity.

There’s no doubt my passions and my commitment to honesty played a significant role in my appeal to iQmetrix. Meeting with leadership in my new role, it’s immediately apparent that they actively seek those behaviours, and I naturally fit. No pretending. I’m going to an organization that desires truth, desires honesty and encourages individuals to challenge convention.

I’ve been told many times I’m too much of an idealist. Wait ’til you see me now that I’ve been validated.

When Kerri and I got married, we chose to keep the wedding small. It was limited to our immediate family – parents, siblings, spouses and a nephew. It was a fantastic day, of course, and I believe it was in large part because the fun and joy of the celebration was contained and focused on a small number of guests we really wanted to share with. There were others that could have helped us celebrate, of course, but it’s a slippery slope to include more, all the while thinning out the direct contact and interaction with those that are there. It seemed there was a finite amount of happiness to be shared and we concentrated it among a few.

I’m reminded of this today as Kerri got a blank stare of non-recognition from a bride we saw get married a month ago. Evidence, perhaps, that size doesn’t denote quality.

There’s a moral here for our daily endeavours, as well. How much we’re taking on isn’t an indication of how much we are doing effectively.

Here’s a statement for your consideration: You have a limited amount of thoughtfulness and quality to offer.

The energy and skills with which we do stuff have finite properties, at least until you undertake a long-term effort to increase them. It’s pretty hard to quantify the quality you offer, but a limit is there. And if it is limited, how should you use it?

When you look at the way you’re using this limited capacity now,

• Are you creating quality connections or multiple relationships?
• Are you communicating with focus or responding to all the inquiries?
• Are you creating effective ideas or solving as many problems as possible?
• Are you pursuing meaning or juggling activities?

While I’ve written them as either/or propositions, they aren’t exclusive. Both options are arguably necessary. I’m simply asking if you and I are spending your time where we should.

Paradoxically, computers, the internet and social media create an environment where your finite thoughtfulness can be multipled and shared many times. We often misinterpret this as an increase to our limited capacity. Not so. All these advances simply offer a better distribution system for what we’re able to create.

This isn’t a comment about limits for your success or a containment of the reach of your brilliance, then. It’s the opposite. Your ideas can go further than ever before.

This post is a comment about an individual’s fixed capacity and the importance of treasuring it. When we acknowledge we have a fairly immovable constant, it can create a healthy sense of urgency… if this is all I have, am I using it right while time ticks away?