Proceed Until Apprehended

When Kerri and I got married, we chose to keep the wedding small. It was limited to our immediate family – parents, siblings, spouses and a nephew. It was a fantastic day, of course, and I believe it was in large part because the fun and joy of the celebration was contained and focused on a small number of guests we really wanted to share with. There were others that could have helped us celebrate, of course, but it’s a slippery slope to include more, all the while thinning out the direct contact and interaction with those that are there. It seemed there was a finite amount of happiness to be shared and we concentrated it among a few.

I’m reminded of this today as Kerri got a blank stare of non-recognition from a bride we saw get married a month ago. Evidence, perhaps, that size doesn’t denote quality.

There’s a moral here for our daily endeavours, as well. How much we’re taking on isn’t an indication of how much we are doing effectively.

Here’s a statement for your consideration: You have a limited amount of thoughtfulness and quality to offer.

The energy and skills with which we do stuff have finite properties, at least until you undertake a long-term effort to increase them. It’s pretty hard to quantify the quality you offer, but a limit is there. And if it is limited, how should you use it?

When you look at the way you’re using this limited capacity now,

• Are you creating quality connections or multiple relationships?
• Are you communicating with focus or responding to all the inquiries?
• Are you creating effective ideas or solving as many problems as possible?
• Are you pursuing meaning or juggling activities?

While I’ve written them as either/or propositions, they aren’t exclusive. Both options are arguably necessary. I’m simply asking if you and I are spending your time where we should.

Paradoxically, computers, the internet and social media create an environment where your finite thoughtfulness can be multipled and shared many times. We often misinterpret this as an increase to our limited capacity. Not so. All these advances simply offer a better distribution system for what we’re able to create.

This isn’t a comment about limits for your success or a containment of the reach of your brilliance, then. It’s the opposite. Your ideas can go further than ever before.

This post is a comment about an individual’s fixed capacity and the importance of treasuring it. When we acknowledge we have a fairly immovable constant, it can create a healthy sense of urgency… if this is all I have, am I using it right while time ticks away?